Emotions
by Library's Poltergeist
Summary: Oneshot. Starscream tries to figure out exactly what he feels toward a certain human. Not romance


Another Starscream PoV one-shot. (cringes)

Disclaimer: Transformers is not mine.

* * *

I care. There, I've admitted it, but am I happy? Of course not, I've never been able to accept something that simple; everything else has some complicated explanation behind it. Why should this be any different?

I don't know _why_ I care about her though. Even when I first arrived on this planet, when I didn't even know her name, the first thing I saw was her. I don't know why, but she somehow drew my gaze. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any feelings remotely resembling love for her. I enjoy her company; I'll admit that, but it's probably because she rarely speaks. Whether it's because she doesn't know what to say, understands that I don't put much stock in words, or is afraid that I'll leave right after she's finally worked enough nerve to approach me, I'll never know; nor do I care, come to think about it.

But then, not caring might be a big problem in the future. When I was a- when I worked with the Decepticons I analyzed everything on the battlefield, but seldom spent much time on a single subject off of it. Everyone knows how that turned out. They say hindsight is twenty-twenty, well they- whomever they may be- are either absolutely right or they were idiots looking for an excuse to beat themselves up. I think I'm a bit of both (I admit this only in the knowledge that after I get this out of my processors this datapad will never see they light of day), if I had paid more attention to the political aspects of the base, I might have been able to see what was happening before I was stranded in the Amazonian rain (no pun intended). But I'm sidetracking, my point is that whatever my attraction to her may be, I should at least identify it.

As previously stated, I enjoy her company mainly because she is relatively quiet and approaches me for her own reasons. That (her coming to me of her own accord) is very important, because everyone else has either begged for a ride or made half-hearted attempts at small talk while making it blatantly obvious that the only reason they are anywhere near me is because Prime insisted that they make me feel welcome… I don't know why he even tries; it's obvious that Hotshot is hoping to start a fight; Blurr doesn't even try to hide the fact that every time I enter the room, he fingers the trigger, and Sideswipe- I'm going off on a tangent again.

So I enjoy her company. She's a friendly acquaintance. Is that it though? I wouldn't die for her, or give up freedom or flight for her. I might fight or take repairable damage for her, but I wouldn't hand over any of the Minicon gestalt teams (or Minicon, for that matter) for her (another thing I never understood about them; they're willing to surrender weapons capable of destroying a planet full of organics in exchange for a single squishy or hand over a Cybertronian –one of our own- for an alien).

I'll end this, but I feel like I'm leaving this unfinished. Emotions are beyond my comprehension; I think that they're not understandable to any transformer, really. Except for they few remaining elders who were around before the fighting began, we're all machines of war. We were created to fight, not ponder our feeling toward other species. So why do we have them?

* * *

The jet looked over the few paragraphs he had transcribed. That psychology website he had found on the internet was right. Writing things down did help. He gave it one last glance before shutting it off and crushing it. Letting the remains slip through his fingers into a waste receptacle, he turned and moved towards the door. As he strode down the halls, he gave a small nod, barely more than a brief glance at the floor, to the brown haired human perched on the catwalk near the corner. The edges of emerald orbs crinkled, as their owner smiled.

* * *

(looks over this again and grimaces) _Now_ I remember why I avoid writing in first person like the plague. Anyways, I hope that all you Starscream fans don't think that I butchered his character too much. I was trying to show those two in a relationship without being in love. Review and let me know how I did.


End file.
